The Importance of what we tell ourselves - "Some" and "Let"

Something that becomes really important in Trauma therapy is the importance of words. 

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trauma polarises us - things become either all good or all bad, our fault or someone else's, people can be trusted or they can't, we're either broken or we're normal.

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This black and white thinking is a coping strategy for making sense of uncertainty and keeping us safe. If there's any sign of risk we no longer want to take that chance - it's either safe or its not. 

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The word "some" is one of my favourite. In a world where trauma means everything is either safe or not, the idea, that some things can be safe, and some things might not becomes unattainable, and yet before trauma, we would have been making those judgements all the time about. Re-introducing the word "some" into our language helps us adventure back into a world where things are possible.

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In contrast the word "let" is often problematic. "I let it happen", is heard often in trauma therapy. It helps maintain self-blame and trauma symptoms, allows shame and guilt to thrive and generally keep the client stuck in a negative place. And yet "let" implies an invitation - I invited it to happen. Given that trauma is largely a result of unexpected and uninvited events, the idea that anyone "let" it happen is highly unlikely.

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The allowing to let go of "let" and the re-introduction of "some" - are two of the most powerful advantages of trauma therapy.

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